A Message To My Beloved Gran

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Today is a very touching and personal post to me, this month marks the 4th year of my gran mother passing and I would like to vent in a way and talk about what kind of person and relationship I had with my gran.

My Mama was the most incredible person I’ve ever known I know most of you think that about your own grans too. I don’t know what it is about grans but they always have this sense of comfort around them, like you can tell them anything just like what my relationship with my gran was – she was my pillar of strength and always had words of encouragement when I was feeling down and unmotivated by life and growing up in poverty yes there’s no hiding I grew up in a poor community with no money too I am not ashamed of it and what my childhood was like.

 

My gran was more like a mother to me, my mum and I never really got along we always argued and she never made me feel comfortable and open to talk to her about what any teenager would want to talk to their own mothers about, with  me not having a dad life was tough but my gran was that ray of hope and coming home from school to her all her amazing stories was the best!

 

I never really got to mourn my grab the way I should’ve the way any gran kid who was close to their gran should, with having to work and constantly keep busy wasn’t all bad, It made me think less about how my heart was breaking in pieces… My gran was the one person who always kept my family together, but now it’s like we all are living out own lives like strangers..  She was one strong lady though, she overcame the lose of a leg and two strokes, even with not being able to talk I could still feel her love on those last days she had with us.. As I’m writing this I am sobbing, crying and mourning at the fact that I won’t be able to hear her voice, to hear her singing in church as the choir sang, to hear her asking a cup of tea.. Oh mama how I miss you more then you could ever imagine. I wish I had more time with you I wish you could see what type of woman I have become.. I’ve only ever wanted you to be proud of me to be proud of what I’ve accomplished… Through all those years of constant pain all I can remember is that beautiful smile in your face even though we couldn’t understand anything you said you would always smile, I am prividged to have known you and to have lived with you I will always love you and remember what you taught me.

 

Forever and always mama…
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