Self-Conscious

Self-Conscious -1

I have always been very self-conscious with my body and skin. It’s something that I am still struggling with, but I have been trying my best to overcome it.

Like everything else it takes time. I am learning to feel more comfortable in my body and skin, it has not been an easy road.

My struggles…

Ever since I was merely two years old I suffered from severe eczema, the kind of eczema where I couldn’t walk. My skin was in complete agony… Being that young and having to be hospitalised for my skin disease took quite a toll on my psyche. 

As you can imagine growing up with a skin disease, wasn’t easy for me. Kids can be extremely cruel and I was tormented all through my school years. Let’s just say I am so happy I am not in school anymore.

Primary school was hell… Also, I grew up with only one parent who couldn’t afford the type of treatments I needed. Fast forward to the age of 28, I still suffer from eczema and most probably will for the rest of my life.

Getting Over It…

Luckily it’s not as bad. I’ve grown out of it, but oh man, has it done a number on my self-esteem. I still suffer from bad scars that most probably won’t go away. I have never felt comfortable in skirts and shorts, which I still won’t wear out unless I am home.

Going through all that has made me feel extremely bad about myself. As much as my amazing fiancé makes me feel specials and tells me daily how beautiful I am. My scars are skin deep…

I am getting better at how I see myself though, makeup has been a way to make me feel good about myself. I’ve also been going makeup-free more often. I don’t want to rely on makeup to help me feel good about myself. Which is why I decided to go makeup free more often to help myself heal from my insecurities regarding my body and skin.

It feels good having to get this off my chest, it has been amazing writing down how I feel… I am sure many other women have been dealing with their own insecurities which media it’s hard not to feel self-conscious in a world where media celebrates perfection, or at least their idea of perfection. Which honestly disgusts me. Many brands though have been invested in showing diversity which I really admire, it makes us feel so much better than there are others with real struggles.


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